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                                                                                                        上海翻译教你汉译英的重要技巧

                                                                                                          得病以前,我受父母宠爱,在家中横行霸道,一旦隔离,拘禁在花园山坡上一幢小房子里,我顿感打入冷宫,十分郁郁不得志起来。一个春天的傍晚,园中百花怒放,父母在园中设宴,一时宾客云集,笑语四溢。我在山坡的小屋里,悄悄掀起窗帘,窥见园中大千世界,一片繁华,自己的哥姐,堂表弟兄,也穿插其间,个个喜气洋洋。一霎时,一阵被人摒弃,为世所遗的悲愤兜上心头,禁不住痛哭起来。
                                                                                                          
                                                                                                          阅学生之译文,笔者发现有一个问题值得我们教师注意,即如何在动笔翻译前,能迅速正确地确定英译的主语。如:
                                                                                                          
                                                                                                          1.得病以前,我受父母宠爱,在家中横行霸道。
                                                                                                          
                                                                                                          上海翻译教你:学生译文(以下简称学译):Before the illness, I was much petted by parents, doing everything at will in the home.
                                                                                                        学译:
                                                                                                        Before I became ill, I have received all the favor of my parents, just like a little tyrant at home.
                                                                                                        参考译文:
                                                                                                        Before I fell ill, I had been the bully under our roofs owing to my doting parents.
                                                                                                          我们知道,汉语表达大多为“意合”结构,结构松散,以一个一个看似并列的短句“拼凑而成,彼此逻辑关系不明显;但英语则不同于汉语,它是形合语言,非常讲究句子内部的逻辑关系的“外化?#20445;?#25152;谓“外化?#20445;?#21363;,使用Connectives?#24162;?#29616;其逻辑关系。我国译界有一个著名比喻?#27721;?#35821;句子的结构像“竹竿?#20445;?#26159;一节接一节的;而英语句子则像“葡?#36873;保?#20027;干很短,而“挂”在上面的附加成分则很多。可以说,汉译英的过程,是一个由“竹竿”向“葡?#36873;?#36716;换的过程。首先要确定“一节接一节”的汉语句子,选其中的哪一节为英句的“(葡萄)主干”。
                                                                                                          
                                                                                                          上面的汉语原句就含有一定的逻辑关系。“受父母宠爱?#31508;?#22240;,而“在家中横行霸道”则是果。“果”应是全句的重心,英译上句,“(葡萄)主干”当选定“在家中横行霸道”而非学生译文所选的“我受父母宠爱”。
                                                                                                          
                                                                                                          2.上海翻译教你:一旦隔离,拘禁在花园山坡上一幢小房子里,我顿感打入冷宫,十分郁郁不得志起来。
                                                                                                        学译:When isolated and taken into custody in a small house on the hillside of our garden, I felt like I was abandoned, getting more and more depressed.
                                                                                                        学译:As soon as I was kept apart in a small flat built on the hillside in the garden, I suddenly felt being consigned to limbo, gloomily and disappointedly.
                                                                                                        参考译文:Feeling like being deposed into a cold palace, I began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration immediately after I was segregated and confined in a small house on a hillside in our garden.
                                                                                                          汉语原句?#23567;?#22235;节?#20445;?#21738;一部分应该成为英句之“主干?#20445;俊?#25105;顿感打入冷宫?#20445;?#36824;是“十分郁郁不得志起来?#20445;?#23398;译?#21450;选?#25105;顿感打入冷宫”处理为“主干?#20445;?#32780;参考译文则反其道而行之。细细分析,“十分郁郁不得志起来”和“我顿感打入冷宫?#20445;?#20004;者也?#20804;?#27425;关系。显然,“十分郁郁不得志起来”为主,“我顿感打入冷宫”为次。两者之间,不仅存在时间先后的顺序,而?#19968;?#23384;在着逻辑上的“因果”。因此,参考译文处理得当。另一个值得参考之处在于:“主干?#20445;↖ began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration)的前后均有附加成分,句子显出“平衡美”。

                                                                                                          3.一个春天的傍晚,园中百花怒放,父母在园中设宴,一时宾客云集,笑语四溢。
                                                                                                          学译:At one dusk in spring, flowers were blooming wildly in the garden, my parents were holding a banquet, in which guests were gathering, laughters could be heard everywhere.
                                                                                                        学译:On a spring evening, hundreds of flowers were in full bloom in the garden where my parents hosted a banquet. For a while, guests gathered in large number, laughing and talking, which could be heard clearly.
                                                                                                          参考译文:On a spring evening, my parents gave a banquet in the garden where a profusion of flowers were in full bloom. In no time, a crowd of their guests collected and laughter was heard all over there.
                                                                                                          上海翻译教你:汉语原句的“节数”增加到“五节”。译成英语,仍应确定正确的“主干?#20445;?#20004;个“学译”不谋而合,将?#38712;?#20013;百花怒放?#20445;?#32780;不是“父母在园中设宴”作为“主干”来处理。读来,给人一种观比萨?#24444;?#30340;感觉。相比之下,参考译文则给人一?#32622;?#24863;,散发出浓郁的英语味?

                                                                                                         

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